|Early Warning Signs of Dating Violence
Are you going out with
- Is jealous and possessive, won't let you
see other friends, checks up on you or won't accept breaking up?
Justifies these behaviours by saying that he acts this way because
he loves you so much?
Pressures you to have sex and thinks of
women and girls as sex objects? Tries to make you feel guilty by
saying, "If you really loved me you would... "? Gets too serious
about the relationship too quickly?
Tries to control you by being very bossy,
criticizing the way you dress, talk, and dance, making all the
decisions and ignoring your opinions?
Is violent, has a history of fighting, a
bad temper or brags about mistreating others?
Abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you
to take them?
Blames you when he mistreats you?
Has a history of bad relationships, blames
the other person?
Believes that men should be in control and
women should be submissive?
Is described by friends or family members
as scary or dangerous?
are not a
sign of true love.
are an early warning
the signals and get help."
Excerpt from Canada's Private
Broadcasters' 1996 anti-Violence
Radio and Television
Learn to recognize the warning
signs - if it feels scary, it's abuse. Abuse can be
emotional, verbal, sexual, mental or physical. 'Whatever form it
takes, you do not deserve to be treated that way.
Feeling sorry for
him doesn't change
Decide what is best for you,
set your own limits, stick to them
and feel good about taking charge of your life.
Get some help and support for
yourself. You are not to blame for his behaviour. Find a
person you trust and respect, and share your problem. The right
person for you could be a friend, parent, school counsellor or
teacher, doctor, crisis line worker or staff person at a women's
shelter. (Check the front pages of your telephone book for
emergency numbers.) If you have told someone and that person
wasn't helpful, keep trying until someone really listens to